Raw and 100%

This is my second round with raw food. Yep, that's right, you heard it. I was raw for a year back in 2005. And I've been in and out to some extent since then. Im not sure how exactly the thought first came into my head, but i do remember having a strong awakening one day thinking that if i wanted to live a more natural life then it should probably start by eating in a more natural way, and what could be more natural than raw foods? By chance I happened to find a book about raw foods, hidden away in the corner of an esoteric book shop, so I bought it and from one day to the next i became a "raw foodie".

No one I knew was eating in this way or had even heard of it, sure they ate salads and fruit every now and then, but "What? Just raw food? Everyday?" was kind of a shock for the regular ways of most peoples thinking, even for some of those who have traveled extensively through the psychic domains.

But after the usual protests and the usual explanations, most people I spoke to kind of found some sense in it. They could see the positive attributes in the diet and a few even had the courage to give it a go for a while.

I was thriving, I was full of peace, love and all sorts of amazing fruits and vegetables. I was riding on a super high, my feet barely touching the ground as I tended my wheatgrass, gulped down freshly squeezed juices and ate to my heart's content all the local organic produce I could find.

However, there was one thing that was nagging at me.... At first it didnt seem to matter so much, I mean I was just at the beginning of my raw food journey and of course there would be some battles adjusting to the new lifestyle, right? But in time I found that it didn't go away.... It actually became worse.. I became worse... You see, I had created and succumbed to a black and white mentality. And in doing so I adopted a way of thinking that told me I MUST BE 100% RAW.

Now dont get me wrong, I think being 100% raw is amazing, and an outstanding achievement to anyone who has been able to master it for any length of time. But for me my biggest stumbling block was the constant torment of that little number - 100%.

You see, with 100% there is no room for error, no margin for anything less then perfect. And I must tell you from the start that I am a far cry from being a perfect human being. The amount of energy I devoted to making sure that number remained correct began to counter any of the gains that I made from living in this particular way.

Guilt was a common emotion surrounding food, and I had decided many years ago that guilt was something that I wanted to leave behind in this life. So being an imperfect person striving for a perfect number I often fell short of my somewhat unrealistic goals. And I suffered immeasurably..

One thing that I noticed was that Guilt often visited with his friends Shame and Blame, and that after I felt so heavy with the burden of my nutritional "sins", fearing my eternal damnation, I would often look at what other people were doing and share with them my personal disgust for their actions.. "How can YOU put THAT in YOUR body?!?" Not only was I judging myself but I was judging all those around me, including the people I loved most.

So to make a long story short, after a wild 12 months of crazy "extremist" eating, I decided to step down from my title of raw food champion and set into the somewhat more comfortable and easy ride of being "vegetarian".

Now as I have been in cruise control for so long, I have noticed that things have begun to change once again. Things that I would have previously kept my distance from have "miraculously" found their way back into my life. Now Im not sure exactly how these things got there, but Ive done a little bit of investigating and I have noticed that there:

* are empty chocolate wrappers piling up in my car.
* is a half finished bottle of wine in the kitchen cupboard.
* a bottle of milk in the fridge sitting next to some white cheese
* an empty box of cereal in the rubbish
* and (i shudder to say it) - a piece of meat in the freezer

Its been a good 4 years since I considered myself a raw fooder and suddenly Im pushing 30 years old and Im awaiting on the birth of my first child in the next few weeks. Looking in the mirror I wonder, where exactly did it all go wrong? How did I allow myself to slip so far from where I once was, when health and wellbeing was at the forefront of my mind and my actions followed suite? How did I end up with all that crap in the fridge and how did I end up putting it into my body?

I know that Im not grotesquely out of shape and I know that Im not that unhealthy. However, if I can fall from such heights in the space of a few short months and years, who is to say how the rest of my life may unfold? Could I be walking down a path, ignorantly eating and consuming my way to my own premature death? Could I be robbing myself and my family good years of health and wellbeing that are rightfully ours to enjoy? More importantly and the most pressing issue for me is: what example will I be setting for my son?

So with that in mind, I have decided to re-embark on my raw food quest. Picking up where I left off just a few years ago but with a clearer vision of how it is that I want this journey to be. There will be no more obsessing about 100% raw for me, even if I manage to live that way for the rest of my life. I see that number, that magic number, the holy grail of raw fooders, only as a guide. A light to shine on the path, a rock to rest upon, something to be aimed for knowing that it matters not if I reach it, or if anyone else reaches it. Perfection comes with imperfection, and I protest that as long as I find myself navigating with it as my compass I will keep adjusting my sails accordingly. Peace of mind is one of the greatest keys to health we have. With this peace of mind, there is no failure, no guilt, no blame, no shame. Just good natural healthy living.

Ciao, Josh :o)